Cool Quotes on Marriage

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
George Burns
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,
"There was water in the carburetor." I said,
"Where's the car?" She said,
"In the lake."

Henny Youngman
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Henny Youngman
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
"You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was
in love and didn't notice."
When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got two girlfriends.
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to
report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has,
you wish you had ordered that.
Man is incomplete until he is married.
Then he is finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?
"The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a
man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad : That happens in every country, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until
I got married; then it was too late.
A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, "A billionaire.
A man, upon his engagement, went to his father and said,
"I've found a woman just like mother!" His father replied,
"So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
It's not true that married men live longer than single men.
It only seems longer.
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive
way to get your laundry done free.
The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once.
Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is
packing your parachute.
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive

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