Funny Quotes

Since light travels faster than sound
Since light travels faster than sound
Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If it weren't for electricity
If it weren't for electricity
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
I am so clever
I am so clever
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Confuse them
Confuse them
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Second best policy
Second best policy
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,dishonesty is the second-best policy.
The speed of Light
The speed of Light
You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
Free speech
Free speech
If our constitution allows us free speech, why are there phone bills?
First wheel
First wheel
The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; he guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
Making up
Making up
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.~Charles Lamb
The brain
The brain
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office
Neighbor's newspaper
Neighbor's newspaper
It's always darkest before dawn So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
Things get worse
Things get worse
We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our butt then things get worse.
Don't be irreplaceable
Don't be irreplaceable
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
The difference
The difference
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
When you're finished
When you're finished
Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when you're finished.
Giving up smoking
Giving up smoking
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. ~ Mark Twain
Three sides to any argument
Three sides to any argument
There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
Two words
Two words
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Friendship's quotes
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